Hi there. Remember me? I’m the lady who said she would blog everyday and be held accountable. The one who said she would write at least 500 words of her book a day. Also the woman who makes vision boards and weekly plans and gets completely and utterly caught up in how stupendously magnificent she is going to be. Ringing any bells? Not yet? Well maybe this will help…
I’m the person who has fallen at every hurdle. Who talks the talk and believes it in the moment. The person who walks the walk for a few days, high on the wave of possibility and potential. But then that wave comes crashing down and spits me out on the shore of complacency and mediocrity. Ah, you have me now don’t you?
And as I sit here now, the dust of self disappointment settling firmly on my shoulders, I have a choice. I can give in, hang my head and recoil in red-faced shame at having promised the sun and the stars and delivered nothing but air. Or I can pick myself up, dust the self doubt off, and try again. I can plan again, promise again, believe again.
And that’s what I’m going to do. Why? Because every time I fail, I learn. Every time I promise and don’t deliver, I want it more. I want to be, can be, better than I am. I want to do, can do, better than I’m doing. And if it all falls apart again what harm. Every failure is worth it just to have experienced those high moments of hope, when I jump off the cliff edge and believe I can fly.
So, for the husband who believes in my greatness, for the friends who make me feel amazing, for the family who want me to succeed, for the people who read this blog and support me (even the man who does burpees in his jocks on the landing…you know who you are!) and for myself (my harshest critic) I’m going to try again.
Today I will plan and I will promise. Today I will try again. I will ride that wave and hope it will take me to the sun and stars.