Sometimes the first step is the hardest to take. Even harder when it’s the hundredth time you’re taking it. Each time you do you are filled with the promise that this step will lead you to your destination. You feel the drive, the passion, the hope. You tell people that this time will be different, this time you will do it right. And then you don’t. You stutter and falter and eventually all the cogs grind to a halt. The taste and feel of the dream disappears into the misty gloom of failure that rests on your shoulders, weighing you down.
Those of you with me since the start of this journey will know how very often I have gone through this process. How many times I have promised you (and myself) the sun and the moon and how many times I have let them go.
But this journey has taught me well. Has taught me that I might fall, but that I will always get back up. Get back up, dust myself off and try again. Because I have a dream. Because I can smell it when I wake in the morning and feel it lodged in my stomach all day, like butterflies reminding me that I have something important to do. Because there is no plan B. This is it and I’m damned if I’ll let this bird fly without me on its back.
So, let me introduce myself. My name is Deborah and I am a Writer. It has taken my over four decades to discover this, but it was well worth the wait. I have 50 thousand words of my first novel written and I will have the first draft ready by Christmas. This blog will be my link to you and will give you a little glimpse of the writers life (as well as direct access to the overcrowded mind of a mother, waitress, woman, wife, friend, mental patient…you may need protective headgear and a map for that part…can be rough terrain). I am committing to blogging once a week (oh how the mighty have fallen from the promise of once a day!!) and to writing 500 words of my novel.
So stay with me if you can. Don’t give up on me yet. Today I’ve taken the first step and I hope it will lead me back into my proper orbit…beyond the brightest star and straight on to Neverland.