I think I have a disease. Or maybe it’s an illness (what’s the difference??). I don’t know if there is a cure for it but, I know it’s progressive and sometimes downright aggressive. Sorry to break it to you like this but there’s no way to soften this. I just need to come right out and say it. It’s the big “P” folks and I’ve got it in spades.
Medical journals and reputable scientific research calls this condition “Procrastination” but, to normal folks like you and me it’s known as “doing-anything-other-than-what-you-are-supposed-to-be-doing-even-if-that-means-scrubbing-the-toilet-with-a-toothbrush-and-cleaning-the-dogs-bellybutton-with-your-tongue” syndrome. A collective “aaaah” can be heard as you all suddenly recognise what I’m talking about.
Let me tell you how this has affected me lately. I finished a difficult chapter of the book last Friday. Had an amazingly productive and rewarding day and I was all evening patting myself on the back for being sooooo brilliant. Well, I hopped into bed that night still smug and warm from being such a gifted and talented individual. But, when I peeled my eyes open on Saturday morning something was different….I was different. Of course I can comment on this in hindsight but, at the time I thought nothing of it. I took to the spring cleaning with gusto…emptying presses, scrubbing walls, rearranging furniture. This lasted for most of Saturday, up until I had to stop and change and go to work for the evening. Sunday was birthday party time in Monkey Business (whoohoo!), followed by hours of mothers day reading…I had a book that I just had to read or my ears would have fallen off (or eyes exploded…something along those lines). Had the Mammy and Daddy for a visit on Monday and even though they left at 8pm I couldn’t possibly do any kind of work at that stage because I had to visit a friend for a cuppa or the world would have fallen off it axis again. And of course yesterday was Paddy’s day and what kind of heathen would attempt to write a theatre review (that was due Monday evening) or do an overdue blog, on our national holiday…I mean I think that kind of behaviour is illegal, isn’t it??
Which brings us to today. Now today was a special one….a day out with the kids, celebrating a wonderful 12 year old. It involved swimming, a slap up family meal and lots of chat and laughter. All very heart warming and noble (perfect-look at me facebook-parenting)….until you realise that I’ve been home since 4:30pm and its only in the last ten minutes that I have actually completed the review that’s been like a monkey on my back for the past few days! And do you know what the really sad thing is? When I sat down to do it, the damn thing took me less than a half an hour to do. Sweet Jesus and the Little Donkey he rode in on, but will I ever learn.!! Once I put my mind to it, once I focus there is never a problem. But, it’s like there’s this glitch in my brain that avoids the inevitable, thus turning the inevitable into torture!
But fear not brethren! I have a plan. In fact I have two!
Plan 1: Get back to planning – which I was doing so well at up until last Friday. Set aside time for assignments, the book and the blog and stick to these times rigidly.
Plan 2: Hire a warty, smelly hag, complete with hump, wiry hair and dirt-encrusted face, to stand at my desk and to beat me with a rusty shovel if I dont appear at the alloted writing times.
Think Plan 2 is a real runner…..